


The Drunken Giraffe Speed Run Group Chat Meets a Cryptid

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, YouTube, bingo prompt, prompt fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23904343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: A very important moment in the life of the DGSR Group Chat.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 41
Collections: April 2020 Barisi Bingo





	The Drunken Giraffe Speed Run Group Chat Meets a Cryptid

DGSR GROUP CHAT (WE LOVE ONE MAN)

 **Mimi** : CRYPTID HUSBAND FOREARM IN THE FRAME!  
**Mimi** : HE WAS GIVING SONNY TEA!!

 **Parker** : We stan a true, caring cryptid. 

**AC** : Ugh. I can't watch it until after class.  
**AC** : I was already psyched because original Half-Life is the SHIT.  
**AC** : BUT NOW CRYPTID HUSBAND SPOTTING.

 **Dawn** : I just screamed when I saw it. I am a mess.

 **Tris** : Left hand? Right hand? Forearm? Inner arm?  
**Tris** : Fuck. I sound like some weirdo who wants to wear his skin.  
**Tris** : Dear FBI spy: I do not want to wear cryptid husband's skin.

 **hasb** : LASKLASKLASKLASKAAAAAA  
**hasb** : What are our lives.  
**hasb** : When did this become our lives.  
**hasb** : Thirsting after a speedrunner.

 **blue** : Not "A" speedrunner.

 **SSnake** : Our baby giraffe speedrunner!

 **adasoph** : Who uses trigger warnings!  
**adasoph** : And always tells people to call him Sonny!

 **cakes616** : Look, I could swim in his dimples. I don't fucking care how much I thirst.

 **Juli** : It was left hand. He was wearing his wedding ring.  
**Juli** : And it was a level nine dimpling when Sonny took the tea.

 **McHoove** : I did not rewind the video nine times. You can't prove shit.

 **MollyMillers** : Fuck it. I'll admit it. I rewound nine times. Hell, I'll do it again.  
**MollyMillers** : Ugh. His fucking smile when he gets his tea.  
**MollyMillers** : We stan true love between a baby giraffe and a cryptid. 

*

 **McHoove** : I've got the original Dark Souls speedrun going. The armor-switch one. What's it called. There's a name for it. 

**Dawn** : Use what you see run.

 **McHoove** : Yeah. That. His LAUGH when he puts on the Xanthous crown. He's so delighted. 

**Tris** : OMG. I love that one. Someone he knows gets in the chat on that one and drops a bunch of puns.

 **McHoove** : It's Mike! He mentions him by name. They work together.  
**McHoove** : Or, they worked together? Not sure on the timeline.

 **hasb** : No, they still work together. He mentioned him a couple weeks ago. But I think they work in different departments or something.

 **McHoove** : Right. Right. Sonny's dayjob is something else but still related to what he used to do.  
**McHoove** : He's never said either, right?

 **cakes616** : Nope, he hasn't. Just wants to be a dork who streams. 

**Ssnake** : Nah, he's just a dork who streams.  
**Ssnake** : Ha! Jinx, cakes!

 **cakes616** : LOL

*

 **blue** : Fuck. Woke up with a migraine. No drunken giraffe for me today. Can't do the flashy stuff in Issac with a migraine.

 **adasoph** : Boo! That sucks!  
**adasoph** : But at least it's not a brand new game!  
**adasoph** : I mean, I'm sure he'll find some way to fuck it up hilariously, but it's not new-new.

 **blue** : That's true. Someone DM me if we get Cryptid content. 

**Mimi** : If you can hear us screaming, and it makes your headache worse, you know there was a Crytpid spotting.

 **blue** : Ha!

 **Ssnake** : Feel better, blue!

 **Parker** : Oh, man, migraines are the worst! Get some rest!

*

 **Juli** : Oh shit.  
**Juli** : Oh shit oh shit oh shit.  
**Juli** : Is anyone else awake?  
**Juli** : ?????????  
**Juli** : FUCK TIMEZONES.  
**Juli** : HOLY SHIT SOMEONE BE ONLINE I HAVE SOLVED A MYSTERY.

 **AC** : Oh, no, Juli, did timezones fuck up everything again?!

 **Dawn** : Why do we even have that lever?  
**Dawn** : In this case, the lever is labeled "timezones."

 **Tris** : Oh, god, what happened to Juli?!

 **hasb** : Oh, baby, what happened? 

**MollyMillers** : Wait. Juli. I think I know what this is.  
**MollyMillers** : Do you watch Dress Better, too?  
**MollyMillers** : Because if you do, I know where this is going.  
**MollyMillers** : You're gonna fucking lose it, gang. 

**adasoph** : I've seen some Dress Better, but I'm way behind.  
**adasoph** : I got the cutest knock-off skirt thanks to Rafael. Good quality, too.

 **Juli** : YES THIS IS ABOUT RAFAEL FUCKING BARBA

 **McHoove** : OMG, I just started watching that channel because Juli bullied me.  
**McHoove** : It's delightful. He's snarky but really nice.

 **Juli** : Okay, Molly, you know what I'm talking about. 

**MollyMillers** : Yeah, and I fucking SCREAMED.  
**MollyMillers** : Like, my roommate burst into my room thinking I'd fallen or something.

 **Tris** : Okay, what the fuck.  
**Tris** : And what time is it for you, Juli?

 **Juli:** Early. Late. I don't know. I'm calling in dead to work tomorrow. I don't fucking care.  
**Juli:** Here. Link. It's only fifteen minutes. Just watch the whole thing. Trust me.

 **MollyMillers** : I'm watching it again even though I know what happens because I cannot believe this. 

**hasb** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **McHoove** : SCREAMING

 **blue** : NO. SHUT UP.

 **Ssnake** : FUCK ME SONNY IS ALSO A CRYPTID HUSBAND?!  
**Ssnake** : HOLY FUCK THAT'S SONNY'S CRYPTID HUSBAND?!

 **adasoph** : Are you fucking serious. Rafael Barba's been cryptid husband all this time? Are you fucking serious. Sonny Carisi gets to look like that and kiss that man. 

**adasoph** : You know what this is, gang. 

**hasb** : The utter NERVE to get that man.

 **MollyMillers** : Which one, hasb?

 **hasb** : BOTH. OF. THEM.

 **McHoove** : hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 **tris** : Holy shit is it christmas today? Because this shit's a miracle. 

**cakes616** : It's biphobic, soph.

 **Dawn** : It's biphobic.

 **adasoph:** : It's biphobic as FUCK.  
**adasoph** : HOW DARE THEY.

 **blue** : Ugh, look at the way they smile at each other. I hate it here.  
**blue** : Except how I love it here.

 **hasb** : I demand to speak to the manager of the internet. Or whatever. This is a cuteness crime.  
**hasb** : Why must I be in love with middle-aged people who will never love me back?

 **tris** : Biphobia, hasb. Biphobia.

 **hasb** : I knew it. 

*

DGSR GROUP CHAT (WE LOVE ONE MAN) has been changed to DGSP GROUP CHAT (WE LOVE TWO YOUTUBERS IN LOVE AND ARE CRYPTIDS)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to all the Barisis who offered their names for the group chat. I did my best to make none of you sound like any of you. Except in niceness.


End file.
